Love and Loss...The Serenity Prayer

While children are young the pets in the home are usually a stable part of their lives and assumed to always be there upon returning home.
But children grow up and pets grow old.

One of my most rewarding moments as a parent was having the opportunity to witness my two young children stand in a room brimming with ten furball puppies and telling them to pick one. The litter was born January 29, 1998 on Superbowl weekend. We used our wedding anniversary as an excuse to take one of the puppies and on March 8th we loaded up two very excited children and one lucky pup.

These puppies were one of those "mistakes" where a purebred mom accidentally comes into contact with a neighborhood dog. Not being worthy of a papered dog they were free for the taking. The mom was a black lab and the dad a golden retriever. The kids chose one of the long-haired fluff balls with just a smidgeon of white. By the time we got home it was decided her name should be Smudge.



We already had our Yankee who at that time was three years old and very receptive to his little charge. From day one that puppy had an enviable life for any dog. Between the doting cats and the ever present Yankee she wasn't alone for a minute. We never needed little tricks to keep her from whining or prevent destructive behavior from boredom. Housebroken by four months she had the run of the house and sought out her lifelong place by our bed.

With such long thick black fur, summers were hard on Smudge. Using a shearer for horses she got shaved every May. It was like shearing a sheep. Once she got used to the noise she relaxed and reveled in the cool freedom when done. Of course all that black fur turned up in I'm sure countless bird nests throughout the neighborhood. We even found it being used by a nest of mice in an old gourd birdhouse.

A favorite memory was her fondness for our chickens. Yankee was fine too with their presence but Smudge would actually sit next to the babies upon their arrival every spring. I'm sure they were just fascinating to watch and it was warm by the heat lamp, but by the time they were moved out to the barn, Smudge was trusted not to chase or hurt any one of them. A nightly ritual was to tag along when we shut the doors for the night and receive her daily treat of an egg.

A large dog, our battle throughout her lifetime was to try to keep her weight down. At her heaviest she hovered a bit over 100 lbs. We lost her without warning shortly after Thanksgiving in 2008. Possible causes were an undiagnosed tumor or circulatory problems due to "fatty blood". Like every pet owner we tortured ourselves for not being more aware of any warning signals she may have been portraying. Animals are amazing at not outwardly displaying signs of pain. By the age of 11 she was gentle and quiet anyway. I just hope she wasn't suffering and we were clueless.



Still find it hard to fathom we got through losing both our beloved dogs within six months of each other. But we have the comfort of knowing we gave both those dogs the best we could offer and they died knowing they were loved and part of a real family.

Life goes on and if there is any character building in loving and losing a pet it's knowing when to
"accept what is". What is done is done and no matter how many replays we put ourselves through we have to realize "it is what it is". There is good reason why the Serenity Prayer is found within so many religious traditions.






God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference