TRIBUTE TO A DEAR FRIEND

 
 “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” 
--  Anatole France


It has often been said with rescued animals that the rescuing goes both ways. When my daughter took in an older cat she was living away from home while in Grad School. Under a lot of pressure with her studies, trying to find her way on her own, and lonely for the comforts and company from back home. Our home is a lively place, to put it mildly. We have always opened our door to animals in need of a home, and our children grew up into very aware and giving people. To live in a quiet, sterile, environment was taking its toll on Aleka's emotional and physical health. She needed life around her and the comfort of a companion by her side.

Enter Mozart into our lives. He was a 12 year old cat in need of a home for the third time. Due to no fault of his own he found himself on the way to the humane society unless he could be placed. There was something about him that drew him to my daughter. She received all the usual warnings about the risks of adopting an older pet, such as health issues, behavior problems, unknown history, blah blah blah.

Anyone who has had cats knows that it is impossible to simply state, "I don't like cats". Every cat we've ever had was a unique individual; some lap cats, some not, some sprayers, most not, some into everything, some content to sleep all day, some bullies, some timid. Mozart was the perfect gentleman. He was very intuitive to Aleka's moods, often being very attentive and always nearby. The perfect remedy to reduce stress, lift depression, take an edge off loneliness.

When he visibly started to lose weight after only a year, there were tests run and observations made. Devastated by the news of cancer, my daughter and her fiance just pulled that cat even closer. Other than the weight loss his behavior initially didn't show any outward signs of distress, but after only six weeks he dropped from fifteen pounds to nine pounds. By that point, he was put on an appetite stimulant and additional nutritional supplements. Hesitant to go the route of steroids, by eight weeks he was put on a ten day supply of prednisone just to help him feel better, which it did, though we knew we were just biding time. At the first sign he was in any discomfort, the decision had to be made whether to let nature take its course, or to give Mozart the final gift of their love. Now down to only six pounds, when it was noticeable that his breathing had become more labored and had problems relieving himself, they made the hardest decision they've ever had to make in their young lives.

The first day or two after saying good-bye, there were plenty of well wishers to offer condolences. But as things go, people return to their own worlds pretty quickly and that is when the shock wears off and the sinking begins. The loss surrounding the death of a pet and the difficulty in coping with one's feelings of grief is very real. People who haven't the experience of loving and losing a pet may have a hard time understanding and give the impression that "it was just a cat". Such an attitude makes the person grieving feel "silly" or "guilty" or overreacting, which only adds to the pain and may interrupt the necessary stages of grief.

Our pets are a very real part of our families, not just another possession. Every time we give a piece of our hearts to something that unconditionally loves us back, our heart swells a bit more, leaving more to ache with each loss. The worst thing to do is to bottle things up inside and go into denial mode of your feelings. If you put up a wall to experiencing pain, you become a shell that tends to harden. Life will go on, but at some point something will trigger and that shell with crack, crumble and you fall apart.

Don't let anyone make you feel silly for being sad or emotional. You are not weak. You are a caring soul which is what being human is all about.

Don't get caught up in the self-blaming trap of "if only" or "I should have done...".  We do the best we can with the information we have and the circumstances life bestows upon us. At some point we have to accept "what is".  Animals don't torture themselves the way people do. They don't worry about things or regret past decisions and when it comes to illness, as long as they feel safe and loved, their passing is often very peaceful.

Surround yourself with people who are truly empathetic. Let yourself cry in front of those who care about you. It is very stress relieving, and you will feel better. A true friendship is when someone is willing to sit patiently as you cry and rant, without feeling the need to "solve anything". If need be, seek the support of pet loss groups.

Find a way to channel your sadness. Get involved at an animal shelter or start making regular donations to a cause that means a lot to you. Make a scrapbook of photos to commemorate your loss. To find some meaning in the whole experience is one way to avoid the feeling like you are drowning.




Below is an article taken from petmemorialworld
  "A large scale study of Cat  intestinal cancer reveals some interesting results that will not only benefit cats, but could also benefit humans down the road. The oncology department at the MU College of Veterinary Medicine conducted  the study on 1,129 cases of intestinal tumors in cats. The large sample was able to span 47 years of cancer and give some detailed results.
The most common intestinal cancers discovered in the cats were lymphoma (cancer of the immune system), and most of the cancers showed up in the small intestines.
The cat breed most at risk of intestinal cancer was the Siamese. With the most at risk group being the male Siamese aged 7 years or older.
As reported by http://www.sciencedaily.com, associate teaching professor Kim Selting reveals:

“This is important because there are very few population-based studies that allow us to evaluate cancer and risk factors on such a large scale,” Selting said. “Pet owners should be on the lookout for unexplained weight loss, vomiting and diarrhea, because these issues can be associated with intestinal cancer.”
Selting says that tracking animal cancer is important because animals share the environment with humans. By noting patterns of cancer development, doctors and veterinarians may become aware of environmental factors that could be causing tumor progression in different species, including humans. This is a fine example of helping animals ultimately benefiting humans. Let us hope that they are indeed able to find a cure for cancer in cats."

Mozart's final days

When asked if they regretted adopting an older pet, the answer is a definite no. The idea of older animals who once knew a loving home to find themselves alone at the end of their lives is heartbreaking. Even if only for a little while, these animals have a lot of life in them and love to share. All they ask for is a forever home.

A POEM FOR THE GRIEVING…

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die…

-Anonymous

 THE RAINBOW BRIDGE

There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth. It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colours. Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows, hills and valleys with lush green grass.

When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place. There is always food and water and warm spring weather. All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigour; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent; her eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.

Author Unknown